We’re not going to lie to you, breaking the news that your girlfriend is pregnant is not going to be easy, especially if you’re still living with your parents and/or are financially dependent on them. Come up with some type of plan before you tell them.
Have you both reached a decision on the pregnancy? There are more questions to ask yourself and plans to set in place after you choose which way you will go.
Here are some of the many questions to consider:
- Where will you live? Will you live together?
- What will your relationship look like: do you plan to get married? end the romantic relationship but both parent?
- How will you pay bills?
- What insurance will she be on for the pregnancy?
- Will you both have jobs/how will you provide?
- What would childcare look like?
- Would you both finish/continue your education?
Here are some questions to ask yourselves:
- What adoption agency do you wish to use?
- How do they pay for medical care?
- How will you choose the parents?
- What type of adoption do you want: closed, semi-open, or open?
- Why are you choosing adoption? (Your parents will want to know)
- How much school or class would she miss (if still in school)?
Here are some important things to think about:
- How far along is she?
- What type of procedure would be available?
- What are the reasons you are choosing abortion? (Your parents will want to know)
- Are you aware of the risks and the actual procedure involved?
- How are you going to pay for the abortion?
- Where do you plan to get the abortion performed?
- Does abortion agree with your parents (and your) morals/beliefs?
After you have an idea of a plan for the pregnancy, you will be more prepared to have this conversation. If you have a plan, at least you will be acting responsibly in a not-so-perfect situation.
Another thing to remember is that it will likely be quite a shock to her parents and your parents. They may react with a lot of anger, disappointment, or be ashamed.
The important thing is to try to act calmly, humbly, and to NOT be defensive. You both did something to cause this pregnancy, and so it is best to own up and not try to blame anyone but yourselves.
If you are angry and yell back at your parents or her parents, it is just going to escalate the situation and make things more tense and worse at the end.
Need help starting a conversation?