If you just found out that your teen daughter is pregnant, you might be tempted to think it is mostly the boyfriend’s fault, and in some cases, you’d be correct. But in many cases, the sex that led to the pregnancy is consensual. The most important thing to do before making any suggestions or comments about how you feel about the situation is to take time to really listen to what both he and your daughter says about the situation, making sure to get her thoughts on what happened before you talk to him.
Make sure you get your daughter’s thoughts on things before you talk to him.
Of course, as a parent you will want him to take responsibility for the pregnancy. You’ll want him to be there for your daughter, to provide for her and the baby, and to be a man about it like he ought to.
Now, there is the flip side if you do not like him. Maybe you see him as harsh, irresponsible, not worthy of your daughter, or a waste of her time. If you’ve known the guy for a while, maybe you have a better idea of who he is, and if not, maybe you need to get a few more impressions of the guy before coming to a final conclusion about who he is. Make sure to see how your daughter feels about him before encouraging him to be around or before asking him to stay away from her.
Make sure you get your daughter’s feelings about him before encouraging him to be around or asking him to stay away from her.
Ask him what he plans to do, now that he and your daughter are in this situation. Does he have a job? Did he want to have kids? What is his family life like? Does he love your daughter/can he see marrying her someday? Find out where he’s at. Is he still in shock? Does he seem like he cares or is disinterested? You’ve got a lot of questions, but try to space them out and get to know him a little better.
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We have also put together some helpful information and resources right here on our blog that may be of some help to you during this process:
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