Your role is whatever your daughter needs from you and whatever you are comfortable with. These are things you and your daughter will want to talk over before the baby arrives. Ideally, she should initiate these conversations, but if she doesn’t, here are some questions you can ask:
- What is your plan for childcare when you go back to work after the birth?
- How do you plan to juggle school and childcare?
- What is the baby’s father going to contribute to childcare?
- How are you going to provide for the baby? Are there expenses you’re not sure if you can cover?
- What do you expect from me/us (as your parents)?
- What is your plan for childcare when you want to go hang out with friends/do something social?
- Do you plan to move out and get your own place or stay at home? (If that is an option.)
Now, there are many more questions that are going to come up, but if you clear some of the things above up with her before the due date, you are less likely to come to misunderstandings after the birth. To not make it sound like an interrogation, try to space these questions out.
How this works out can vary depending on your parenting decisions. Will you allow your daughter to stay at home after the birth? Are you willing to offer free childcare for the baby? What are your childcare terms (will you only babysit during school, will you help during work, will you not babysit for social outings)? What do you expect from her financially, or do you plan to pay for most things? If you’re married, you’ll want to discuss this with your spouse first so that you have a united front when you speak with your daughter.
Remember: you will be a grandparent! The parenting responsibilities are ultimately going to be up to your daughter and the baby’s father (if he’s involved). This may be hard to accept, and you can step in with suggestions as need be, but don’t forget that you are not the parent anymore – at least, not to the new baby.
Need to talk? We can help mediate a conversation or just answer any questions you have.
Call or text us at 719.544.9312
We have also put together some helpful information and resources right here on our blog that may be of some help to you during this process: