Have you experienced a pregnancy loss through miscarriage? Here are a few suggestions for coping with the emotions you may be experiencing:
Share Your Story
Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend or family member or even a counselor about your loss experience. Keep a journal to record your story and feelings associated with the loss.
And give yourself permission to do so. This may include setting up some personal boundaries with family and friends as a way of protecting yourself from people and situations that are difficult for a time (e.g., baby showers, people who tend to be insensitive, baby dedications or christenings).
While boundaries may be necessary, it is also important to let family and friends know how they can help support you. They may not take the initiative or know what would be helpful, so be sure to clearly express your needs and be open and willing to receive their support.
Consider joining a local or online support group as you navigate the grief associated with your loss.
Turn Toward, Not Away
Navigating miscarriage grief as a couple can be difficult as each partner tends to express their grief differently. It is important to keep the communication lines open and turn toward each other during this time. Recognizing this difference and choosing to respond to one another with compassion and grace will help as you each grieve in your own unique way.
Part of what makes miscarriage so dif cult is the absence of memories and tangible keepsakes. Create or purchase these items as a way of honoring your child who died. Some ideas include ornaments at Christmastime, a special blanket, or a necklace or other piece of jewelry by which to remember. Create a memory box — which might include your positive pregnancy test, an ultrasound image, your personal thoughts, a poem or drawing — and designate a special place in your home to house these items. Share these items with family and friends as you feel led, which will help them to see that your child was a real baby, was valued, and is loved.
Honor your Child
You can do so by naming your baby or doing something to honor your baby on the due date or other special days. Examples include lighting a candle, releasing a balloon, or making a donation to a related cause in your child’s memory.
Share with Your Other Children
It is normal to struggle with the daily activities of parenting after miscarriage. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from grandparents, relatives, or friends. You may wonder how or what to tell your child(ren) after miscarriage occurs. Consider their age and maturity level, then share openly and honestly what you are comfortable in a way that conveys the facts and your feelings. Sharing the story with your child(ren) will teach them about the value and preciousness of every life.
Seek Spiritual Comfort
Pray. Share your feelings with God. Read Bible verses that provide comfort and encouragement to you in times of grief. Talk to a spiritual leader that you trust.
Our Advocates know what you are going through. You are not alone. Give us a call today at 719.544.9312.