Miscarriage

Miscarriage – Handling Hurtful Comments and Cliches

Miscarriage – Handling Hurtful Comments and Cliches

You may experience unwelcome and hurtful comments from those around you.  It can be difficult to make sense of such remarks, which are usually well intended.  Here are some specific examples to be aware of:

Be prepared for the “at least” comments which, by nature, tend to minimize the experience of loss.

-At least you were only __ weeks along.

-At lease you know you can get pregnant.

-At least you didn’t have to give birth.

-At lease the pregnancy wasn’t planned.

You will most likely hear comments such as:

You can always try again.

This is just “nature’s way.” Something must have been wrong with the baby.

It was probably for the better. read more

Suggestions for Coping with Miscarriage

Suggestions for Coping with Miscarriage

Have you experienced a pregnancy loss through miscarriage?  Here’s a few suggestions for coping with the emotions you may be experiencing:

Share Your Story

Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend or family member or even a counselor about your loss experience. Keep a journal to record your story and feelings associated with the loss.

Grieve Freely

And give yourself permission to do so. This may include setting up some personal boundaries with family and friends as a way of protecting yourself from people and situations that are difficult for a time (e.g., baby showers, people who tend to be insensitive, baby dedications or christenings). read more

Miscarriage – When Pregnancy Was Unexpected

Miscarriage – When Pregnancy Was Unexpected

Whether or not your pregnancy was intended, the experience of miscarriage is painful. If you’ve experienced miscarriage after an unplanned pregnancy, you may be wrestling with some additional thoughts or questions, such as:

Is this punishment?

…for the circumstances of my pregnancy?
…for past mistakes?

Did my negative thoughts about the pregnancy cause this to happen?

In a way I am relieved, yet I feel terribly guilty. Does this make me a horrible person?

You are not alone in these thoughts and questions. Even women who were actively trying to get pregnant struggle with similar concerns as they search to make meaning out of something so senseless. Your questions and feelings are quite normal and you are not a terrible person for questioning God or yourself or for pondering these tough thoughts as you process your pain. read more

Common Reactions to Miscarriage

Common Reactions to Miscarriage

In the United States, it is estimated that 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even so, you may feel alone and may carry your grief in silence.

After a miscarriage you may be feeling…

Anger. Sadness. Depression. These feelings are normal after a miscarriage, but you may also experience:

Confusion:

You may be questioning the cause of the miscarriage. You may also be wondering who, what, or whether to tell others. The painful grief of miscarriage is just as heartbreaking as the loss of a full-term baby. However, people often fail to reach out and give the same comfort and support or they may expect the mother to recover quickly and “try again,” and that can deepen your pain and confusion. read more